Thank you…

by | Oct 15, 2009 | Pregnancy | 34 comments

… to the not so nice man, in the checkout line at the grocery store last night, who asked (loud enough for everyone around to hear), “What are you, like TEN or ELEVEN months?” You were able to finally motivate me to exercise again, especially since I still have ten weeks remaining!

34 Comments

  1. Anne McD

    Ack! Ignore them! I got a few comments on just how big I was with number five, who turned out to be an absolute peanut in comparison to the ohters, and I'm only one size bigger at six weeks postpartum than I was when I got pregnant. There's something about the grocery store that makes people say the craziest things!

    Reply
  2. Sarah

    I am so sorry that you had someone (a complete stranger!) say that to you. Why do people think they can say things like that??? You are beautiful, and you look great, and you are growing a baby inside of you. You look exactly like you are supposed to. God bless you in these last 10 weeks!

    Reply
  3. Angela

    How rude!! I can't believe the things people think they can say!

    Jessica, you are beautiful – no worries!

    ~Angela

    Reply
  4. Kelly

    Very rude!!! Don't worry about what people like that have to say. Some people need to learn when to keep their opinions to themselves! You're beautiful, and you're doing something beautiful.

    Reply
  5. Charlotte (WaltzingM)

    You are gorgeous darlin'! I don't wish evil on that unkind man, but how about a nasty case of hemorrhoids?

    Reply
  6. Sarah

    Oh.dear. How rude. Can't believe the things some people say.
    I've thought all along that you were growing beautifully and an amazing looking pregnant mama. For the record.:)

    Reply
  7. elm

    And why do people who are supposed to be your friends or "loving" family ask you (when you are 27 weeks pregnant and just really -no squeezing into regular sized knit things on the bottom anymore – needing to be wearing all things maternity) "Oh, my… are you sure you're not having twins!?!?!! Yea… um, thanks.

    Reply
  8. Eileen

    Oh, Jessica, I'll bet he meant it as a humorous "support" — as in, "I bet by now it feels like it's never gonna end, huh?" (And, since that's not what he *said,* if his wife were with him he'd have a bruised rib from where her elbow hit, no doubt):)

    Not to discourage you from exercising, of course. But I don't doubt you're beautiful!!!

    Reply
  9. Regina

    wow, what a jerk. was it in your local store where he possibly knew you??
    r

    Reply
  10. Christine

    Oh MAN! I think I would have been rude right back. But I usually do not. I usually go home and grumble and blog about it.

    Some people are so annoying.

    Just worry about what God thinks. Works for me.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous

    Once when I was buying a pregnancy test at the grocery store the clerk stopped looked at my youngest, then held up the box and said really loudly, "OOOPS." Ten looked at the other people in line holding up the box, so they could see.

    That is why I prefer self checkout.

    Reply
  12. Jana Jae

    I was in the army when I was pregnant with my daughter. A bit of army info…a GP Medium is a HUGE tent that you throw over poles so about 20-30 people can sleep when out in the field. Now, when you are pregnant you still wear BDUs. They are cute…cammo swing tops! Anywho, we had an officer enter our office, so we stood at attention. He told us at ease and then walked up to me and said, "Specialist, did they have to use a GP Medium to make your BDUs? I was only 7 months pregnant. I feel your pain.

    Reply
  13. Anonymous

    Say a prayer for the man because it sounds like he is far more miserable than any of us could be…….poor soul. Angry at life, angry at his day, had to take it out on the nearest person and you just happened to be it! But that does not excuse his rudeness at all! Amen!

    Reply
  14. Maryfrances

    You should be happy you are not in Italy while being pregnate, they are way many more people with comments worse then that, especially the dottors in the hospitaly right before and after you have birth, but made it through even the last pregancy. Have to just give thanks to them all and prey for them!!!

    Reply
  15. Julie

    I'm so sorry. You look great and you should ignore it. You are growing a beautiful healthy baby. I was pregnant with my son on Halloween a couple of years ago and the store clerk asked if I was wearing a Halloween costume and when I said no, she said, "Well, you must be having twins then?"

    Reply
  16. Jessica Gordon

    Thank you everyone! You are all so sweet! I feel so blessed to have such great friends here… Especially since it has been an extra difficult week and I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed.

    Nope Regina, this was in town, not in the little local store.

    Eileen, you are so sweet to give him the benefit of the doubt… Though he really didn't need to shout it for all to hear. lol! The clerk shook her head and immediately apologized for him telling me she thought I looked just fine and the rest of the line quietly smiled/laughed. I think I turned as pink as my shirt… 😉

    I have actually run into a number of "rude" men lately… A few weeks back, at a convenience store, two men approached the long line to pay at the same time I did. They said "well, you only have one thing, go ahead…" I said, "Thanks! I have really bad heartburn right now and really needed to pick up some tums." One replied, "It looks like you have a much bigger problem than that." and the other laughed. I was shocked! I just said, "No, not a problem, another blessing!"

    After many years of recieving comments on the number of children we have (even though I think we have a "small" family! 😉 ), I have gotten use to the rude comments, and do think they are the result of others unhappiness or trying to justify their own decisions…

    Yes, the best thing to do is just say a little prayer for them… And then remember just HOW THANKFUL I am that this pregnancy is going so well, despite the normal challenges of course, AND the fact that I already DO weigh more than I did at delivery with all my prior pregnancies, other than Snuggles.

    Reply
  17. Jennifer

    Oh Jessica – you're so radiantly beautiful. I would hope he was being funny. It sounds like something my goofball little brother would say. He still just rolls on the floor laughing remembering how big my nose was during my first pregnancy.

    Reply
  18. Allison

    So many things could have triggered him…you're beautiful, you're happy and open to life. That threatens a lot of malcontents who will seek to bring you to their malaise by hurting your feelings…makes them feel powerful.

    Definetely a person to pray for. You really are a beautiful pregnant woman living out her faith. What could be more beautiful?

    Reply
  19. April

    Gotta love those people who lack the normal range of social graces to avoid those "no-no" topics of conversation. Especially when you aren't really even having a conversation in the first place, yet they decide to bluntly comment on your pregnancy, size of family, etc, etc.

    Reply
  20. Nancy Carabio Belanger

    Here's a hug, Jessica!

    I would have retorted something back, but that wouldn't be following the Little Way, now would it? LOL! Sometimes it's so hard to follow! Yikes!! I have to admit I'm getting better. You're so sweet–pay him no mind. I like your response when you were buying the Tums. By the way, I think it is EXTREMELY un-gentlemanly for a man to comment on a woman's pregnancy, but maybe that's just me.

    Reply
  21. Kelly

    God bless you Jessica! You should rest, relax and enjoy these last 10weeks.

    The funny thing is, is that I was just lamenting to my friend how huge I felt and how I weigh more now than with all my other pregnancies. I'm only 21 weeks along and already some stranger asked if I was having twins. And then was incredulous when I said no. Thank goodness I didn't have all the kids with me. I'd hate to hear what they would have said then.

    Forget about him. He sounds clueless and/or thoughtless. I'm sure your husband thinks your gorgeous, and that's all that matters anyway.

    Blessings!

    Reply
  22. Pamela

    Oh I can't belive that some people are so unhappy. I was once asked how far along I was and I told him the new baby is 3 months old:( He felt really bad!! I did have a really oversized dress on, but it did bother me for sometime.

    I think with having 6 children our family is small. I pray everyday for more children. Gods timing is a little different then mine but I will wait for that time.

    Enjoy the next 10 weeks they will go by so fast but maybe you want them to:)

    Reply
  23. Jessica Gordon

    Pamela ~ A salesman at Macy's once asked me that as well, just after I had delivered our first, and I was even HOLDING the baby at the time… He went on to say, "Oh, I am sorry, you just looked like you had a little pooch… You know what… I am just going to stop talking now…" Poor guy!

    Now my dad on the other hand LOVES asking me "Hey, are you pregnant??" and then laughing. I just laugh and say, "yep, are you?!" lol! It's a little different when it's family teasing each other. =)

    Then there is my sweet brother Brian, and it may just be because he is recently married himself and getting use to giving compliments, but he keeps telling me that I look great and SO MUCH SMALLER this time. But then it finally clicked when I realized that HE is the one that is SO MUCH BIGGER now!! He was only 13 when I got married, and is now 23. Even though I am bigger now, his perception of me has changed over the years as he practically doubled in size. hehehee — still I love hearing that he "thinks" I look smaller. 😉

    Reply
  24. Jessica Gordon

    And thank you ALL for your comments and sharing some of your own interesting stories! I have really enjoyed reading them today!

    Reply
  25. Anonymous

    Jessica,

    If I lived closer I would take you out for a coffee and we could laugh our heads off about this statement.

    You know, sometimes I think men (usually I get these kinda of remarks from men) just dont' know what to say and they think they are being funny.

    I have gotten;

    "you must be having twins."

    "due anyday now?"

    "oh my gosh, you are huge"

    Yes, it's so nice to hear. I remember I went to Sea World at 36 weeks (now mind you my children are close in age) I got so many stares and "wows!"

    I try to make fun of myself before they do. If they truly are harboring a critical spirit, then that is sad for them and a great opportunity to offer what they said as a sacrifice for them.

    I will post belly shots soon and it will make you feel MUCH Better!!

    Reply
  26. Erin

    I honestly hope that it is just people who don't know how to make appropriate social conversation rather than people who are really trying to be rude on purpose!

    I had somebody ask me last Christmas, "So, when are you due?" I said, "Uhhh… I gave birth 11 months ago." He appeared to feel really bad about it… I was wearing an empire waist shirt. I don't think those work on my postpartum body anymore…

    People talk before their brains give them the go-ahead for acceptability sometimes!

    Reply
  27. Jana Jae

    Just remember this…when men get around beautiful women, they tend to make big goofs of themselves. They don't know what to say and just let something flow out. Your pregnancy is the only one evident thing they think they can comment on.

    Reply
  28. Aimee Landreneau

    Since I only carry in one place, which is a freakishly large belly, I get the "look". Like, "Seriously, could that woman have a bigger belly?!"

    Or, I get, "How much longer?" And when I say however long, they say (with gawking eyes), "Seriously?! WOW! That's a long way to go and you're already so big!"

    Gee, thanks!

    Reply
  29. Aubrey

    Wow! That takes guts! I'm always surprised at the things that people just can't keep themselves from saying.

    When I arrived at the zoo yesterday, there was a woman next to me unloading a mini-van full of small children, five in all. I thought that maybe it was another fellow mom of a larger brood so I asked politely if all of the children belonged to her. Her response? "NO! Thank G-d! Oh, thank G-d, no! Heavens, only two are mine, thank G-d."

    Whew! I wasn't expecting that! And the kids were right there listening! I wasn't sure what to say–at that point, saying that I have (will have) five would have been almost confrontational, so I let it go and said a little prayer for her.

    One more–one time a couple of years ago at Old Navy while checking out, Madeleine (4 at the time) turned around and asked the lady behind us if she had a baby in her tummy. My stomach plummeted in the split second between her two-part response.

    "No," she said (here's where I nearly got sick) then, "I have TWO babies in my tummy!"

    Reply
  30. gretchen

    Jessica,
    You are the picture of a lovely, radiant mother. God bless you and your sweet little baby.

    Reply
  31. Jamie Jo

    I find it so interesting that people, (usually in stores) think (or I should don't think)they can just say anything to a pegnant woman. Like there's a sign on us that says "it's ok to say rude, nasty comments to me"

    I'm sorry it made you feel bad! Prayers for that man and all the others!

    You DO look lovely and radient and not 10 or 11 months along!

    Reply
  32. Kristyn Hall

    I would like to go on record and first, tell you Jessica that you look beautiful and radiant.

    Secondly, as I was telling a teary eyed daughter this morning, there are some people in this world who are just plain rude and like to to make people feel uncomfortable by asking inappropriate questions.

    And finally, once my father said something rude in a joking manner to a lady we knew. She burst into tears (which she was really embarrassed about later) but it cured my dad of saying things like that. It never occurred to him before that he hurt people's feelings by his brand of humor.

    🙂 Hang in there. You're a beautiful mama. ((hugs))

    Reply
  33. Margaret

    Mean people suck.

    Reply
  34. Anonymous

    Wish I had been there to stick up for you. I think if I'd been there I'd have smiled sweetly and said "Oh, and are you in your 100th year?"
    Brings back memories of "white martyrdom" days.
    Grandma B. in AZ

    Reply

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