Posted yesterday afternoon, June 13th, the Feast of St. Anthony of Padua, on Instagram/Facebook:
Home from the hospital and so thankful for hugs and cuddles from my little ones…
{pregnancy/miscarriage update posted here on the blog}
Thank you all so much for the prayers!
“Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted.”
– Matthew 5:5
O Merciful Jesus, hear me! Please listen to my plea for help. My heart is stricken, and my soul is overwhelmed with grief. I try to understand, but I can only trust. My God, I believe in Thee! Increase my faith. Strengthen my trust, for I feel so weak. Console my heart, for I know no comfort, now that I have lost my precious baby, whom Thou hadst given me. I do not know why Thou hast taken my child from me, but I know I must trust in Thy mercy and goodness. I know that Thou dost not delight in my sorrows, but dost love me with an infinite love and dost feel infinite compassion for my poor heart. Have mercy on me, Sweet Heart of Jesus, have pity on me in my grief, and comfort me. I know my little one is safe in Thy tender care. Have mercy on my baby, O Lord, and bless my baby and our grieving family.
O Sorrowful Heart of Mary, join me in my sorrow. Thou hast known the anguish of watching thy Son die; I too have lost my child. In my grief, I turn to thee, my Mother. Cover me with thy mantle, shower me with graces, and comfort me by thy presence. Assist me and my husband through this trying time; may our hearts draw even closer to each other and to Our Merciful Lord in this painful time. Help us to trust in His goodness and love, as thou didst trust, long ago, beneath the Cross of Calvary. As for our dear baby who has departed for us, I entrust this child to thy care. My child did not (while still living*) have the opportunity to receive the Sacrament of Baptism; nevertheless, take him under thy mantle, watch over him and pray for him. I know thy prayers have never failed before the Heavenly Throne. And, O merciful Mother, watch over our family, comfort us in our grief, and help us to find peace and solace in trusting in the goodness and love of our merciful God, in whose care our dear baby rests. Amen.
– Prayer of a Bereaved Mother of an Unbaptized Baby, Your Labor of Love by Agnes M. Penny
*My husband and I did give the baby, whom we named Anthony, a conditional baptism following my miscarriage yesterday afternoon. We will meet with the cemetery next week to arrange Anthony’s burial. Please continue to pray for our family.
Mother of Sorrows, pray for us!
Mother of Sorrows, pray for our departed child!
St. Anthony of Padua, pray for us!
I am sorry to hear this sad news. It is good to see your little ones comforting you though. St Anthony is such a wonderful saint, a great patron to have for your little one and your family. I love him very much and pray that his prayers will bring some comfort to your heart.
2014-06-14 22:59:49
You have our continued prayers.
2014-06-14 23:04:56
I've read your blog off and on for the past year, but never commented. But I wanted to tell you I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious one. Offering prayers for you and your family.
2014-06-14 23:27:13
Prayers for you, your family and your little ones in heaven.
2014-06-14 23:46:13
Dear Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you, your husband and children in my prayers. May Jesus envelop you with His tender love, and may our Sorrowful Mother hold your hand and dry your tears. God bless and keep you always!
2014-06-14 23:50:41
Praying for you Jessica. So sorry to hear this news.
2014-06-14 23:58:33
I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for you, your family and your sweet little Anthony.
2014-06-15 00:46:11
Jessica, I feel so badly for you. I pray that your 're recovery is easy and peaceful. I never heard the above prayer before, it is beautiful. I wish I had been able to perform a conditional baptism on Ashley and my other lost babies but I pray that God understands and knows how much I wanted to shower those children with faith and love but couldn't. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Rest in peace baby Anthony, tiny saint, and pray for your grieving family here on Earth.
2014-06-15 00:55:17
Oh, I'm sure He does! Thank you, Jennifer! I so appreciate all the love and prayers!
2014-06-15 01:00:07
Dear Jessica, My prayers are with you and your husband and your family at this most difficult time. Our family experienced this deep pain last April when our daughter miscarried their precious little one. I found this prayer that gave some comfort to our daughter and I would like to share the prayer with you. Most sincerely, Debbie A Prayer from Jesus “Your child lives. Your baby hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes your child sees everlasting Beauty~~he sees My face. Your baby was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. Your child knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. Your child laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. Your child was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. Your baby has never seen pain or sin. Your baby has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth. Your child now enjoys a life of Eternity with Me.” Author Unknown
2014-06-15 01:37:08
That is a beautiful prayer! Thank you, Debbie! I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandchild. God bless you and your family!
2014-06-15 01:43:22
Thank you, Karen!
2014-06-15 01:43:56
Thank you, Angela!
2014-06-15 01:44:18
Thank you, Sarah! God bless you and your family too!
2014-06-15 01:44:51
Thank you Kathleen!
2014-06-15 01:45:06
Thank you so much for visiting and taking the time to comment. I appreciate the prayers so very much!
2014-06-15 01:45:54
Thank you, Rachel! I'm so grateful for all these sweet children God has given to us! St. Anthony was always one of my Grandmother's favorite saints and it was comforting to say goodbye for now to our little one on his feast day! We have a pattern going with our children's names and had already decided that this one would have an "A" name – being the feast of St. Anthony yesterday it made our decision so much easier. 🙂
2014-06-15 01:52:20
Thank you Lena! Your family remains in our prayers too!
2014-06-15 01:52:54
So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your plans for the burial. So many people do not understand the importance of this and just let the hospital take care of it, which means disposal and incineration.
2014-06-15 01:56:05
Hospitals can make it so very challenging, and it was harder for us to get permission to take the baby's remains this time, especially compared to our last miscarriage in 2008, but thankfully our doctor was able to bypass the hospital's policies for us. We were so thankful for that.
2014-06-15 02:05:56
I sent you an e-mail with a picture that I took of the Mother's Sanctuary at the Black Madonna Shrine and Grottos in Pacific, MO, today. When I saw it, I thought of you, and said a prayer for you and your family. I hope that it will be a comfort to you when you have time to look at it.
2014-06-15 02:27:33
I was just reading your email and looking at the beautiful picture! Thank you so very much!
2014-06-15 02:35:30
What a beautiful photo of you and your little ones Jessica, you are so loved ! We continue to pray for you, and will always remember this sweet pure soul in heaven. Love, Emma in Norway
2014-06-15 05:36:36
St. Anthony is my favorite saint! I'm so happy your named your little one Anthony. How are your kids? I've been praying for them too.
2014-06-15 08:00:37
I'm so sorry again for your loss, Jessica. After my miscarriage in October 2013 at 18 weeks, I enjoyed this poem that I found and read it aloud at my son's burial. May it warm your heart as well. I will pray for you and your family during your recovery.
Precious Little One
I`m just a precious little one
who didn`t make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus,
but I`m waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here where I live,
waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorow,
a world marred with pain and sin.
Thank you for the life you gave me,
it was brief but don`t complain.
I have all Heaven`s Glory,
suffered none of earth`s great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me.
I`d have loved to bring it fame.
But if I`d lingered in earth`s shadows,
I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family-don`t you sorrow.
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus` arms
from my loving Mother`s womb.
~Author Unknown
2014-06-15 13:00:07
I never knew about the conditional baptism. How wonderful that you got to do that! But when there is no visible fetus or the baby dies in the womb or it's so early, what to do? I am forever haunted that I had no knowledge of any of this with my own miscarriages… And the hospital treated the remains in usual hospital fashion… I hope that you all are able to know God's peace and grace in these sad and difficult days… May Anthony pray for you all and for all of us who have suffered this kind of loss – he and all the babies that have gone before us offer us strength, don't they? Blessings to all of you and I hope that Snuggles' birthday coming up will provide an opportunity to rejoice again and celebrate life and the life of children! 🙂
2014-06-15 21:54:31
I'm so sorry to hear of your own miscarriage, Bridget… What a beautiful poem! Thank you!
2014-06-15 22:22:36
Thank you, Emma!
2014-06-15 22:22:47
Thank you, Helen! Our kids are doing well. They had all been so excited about welcoming a new sibling and it has been hard for them, especially the older ones who were more aware of the pregnancy. (Though they did all know that the ultrasounds hadn't been going well and had all been praying for the baby.) I am home with just the two little ones today and my husband took all the big kids out for the afternoon to spend some time with them for Father's Day. Thank you so much for the prayers!
2014-06-15 22:30:46
When I had my last miscarriage one of my husband's brothers told us how to do a conditional baptism following the D&C I had then, since there wasn't going to be a visible fetus. (We had to pour the water over all the remains inside the container from the hospital, immediately following the procedure, while saying the words of baptism.) Without his guidance I'm sure we wouldn't have know to attempt it either. This time it was harder, and the conditional baptism wasn't immediate, since my husband was not allowed to be in the operating room and I had to be under general anesthesia (first time in my life and I was terrified, especially with how much I react to medications, but I survived). We did the best we could under the circumstances. Our miscarried babies, and yours, are in God's loving hands and I trust completely in His mercy. I'm sure He is taking perfect care of every single one of them, whether they have been conditionally baptized or not. ♥ And YES! We are looking forward to celebrating a birthday next weekend! I still can't believe my little "Snuggles" will be turning SEVEN! Beginning tomorrow the five oldest kids will have golf camp each day, leading up to a tournament on Friday and then the birthday on Saturday! Hopefully I'll recover my strength quickly so I can plan a fun filled day for him! 🙂
2014-06-15 22:46:27
I so loved Snuggles' Lone Ranger themed birthday last year and am excited to see what he wants for this year! My daughter and I have recently been watchmaking some of the old Lone Ranger TV shows online and she LOVES Silver! LOL! Some of the Lego Lone Ranger sets are hanging out it a certain closet for future fun on special days! Anthony will help you gather your strength this week for a fantastic birthdays on Saturday! And glad that you made it ok "going under" with the D&C. I know all about that, too… (With my first and then was put in the maternity ward as there were no other bed available – it was hard to listen to all those newborn cries and none of them were mine). Golf camp will give you some little extra time to recover, too! Blessings on your week and to all the family!
2014-06-15 23:03:47
Jessica, You and your beautiful family are in our prayers. Now you have your own little Saint Anthony in Heaven! We love St. Anthony, too, so much that one of my daughters chose him for her confirmation saint! The prayer you posted was beautiful. I still think often of the child that I miscarried; I don't think our children, even if we never meet them in this life, ever leave our mother's hearts. May God bless you always and may He give you a quick return of your strength. Sherri
2014-06-16 02:41:57
I don't post often, but I'm praying for your family in this time of grief and hope. I'm lucky to live next to Lourdes, and I have pray in the Cave of the apparition, by the intercession of Ste bernadette and the Immaculate Conception. Ask me by email if you want more prayer at Lourdes 🙂 Will be happy to do it ! God bless you. "I’m happier with my crucifix on my bed of pain than a queen on her throne" Ste Bernadette of Lourde
2014-06-16 14:23:58
{{{{Jessica}}}} you are in my thoughts and heartfelt prayers! <3 God bless you, dear lady!
2014-06-16 15:54:21
Dear Jessica, I’m praying for you and your family. Yesterday my baby girl was baptized and she’s got the name “Antonina” in honor of St. Anthony of Padua. May your little saint pray also for her.
2014-06-16 16:24:53
So very sorry for your loss, Jessica. 🙁 Will continue to keep you and your family members in my prayers. God bless you all during this most difficult time. xo
2014-06-16 18:57:30
I'm sorry…. And be sure that I'm praying for you and for you family! Let Little Saint Anthony be the guardian angel of your family!
2014-06-16 20:34:37
My heart aches for you, I am so sorry for your loss. God bless baby Anthony!
2014-06-17 02:50:51
I am so sorry you and your husband lost your baby Jessica. All of you will be in our prayers! Pray for us previous baby Anthony! +jMj+]
2014-06-17 10:21:52
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. My family will keep you in our prayers. God Bless Baby Anthony. +jMj+
2014-06-20 02:36:01
I have been away from the computer and so was saddened to read this news in amongst your other blog posts. Losing a baby is so hard and my heart goes out to you, I hope you are recuperating well, you and your family shine with the Love of God. San x
2014-06-21 14:35:25