Earlier today I shared a link over on Facebook to the Martinmas Lanterns we made a couple years ago. Shortly afterwards I received a comment that made me stop and wonder how many others feel this way when they visit my blog(s), although I’m sure that long time visitors here at Shower of Roses (and over at Catholic Cuisine too) have observed that our family has had various seasons of activity when it comes to celebrating the feasts and seasons of the liturgical year. You can read my response below.
“I have the same questions as anonymous above. I was actually thinking right before I read their comment that I may have to stop reading this blog because it makes me feel so inadequate. I’m a Catholic homeschooling mom that can barely keep up with laundry let alone celebrate nearly every Saints’ feast day with special food and a craft. I suppose my children know the Hail Mary. I’ll have to be content with that for now.”
If it makes you feel any better, my dryer (and a number of other things) broke last week due to a power surge and we have clothing piling up and hang drying all over the house (shower rods, door jams, near the fireplace, and anywhere else I can find) as I try to keep up with the necessities while we wait for the repair man to fit us in… Combined with our daughter having a bad poison oak outbreak all over her face/neck/arms, it’s been a really hard week around here…
In the past I have joked with a friend that sometimes I will look through my archives here and also think “How does she do it?!” 😉
This year, with two highschoolers, a kindergartner, and three other children in between to home educate (plus an eager pre-schooler!), not to mention hockey season and high school robotics, it’s definitely turning into one of the (much!) harder seasons for fitting in the “extras” while trying to maintain my health at the same time. There is so much more I need to keep up with now and I just don’t have the same amount of extra time or energy that I had in the past.
Our family definitely goes through different seasons – sometimes we place more emphasis on doing extra little things to celebrate the saints and seasons, and other times it just isn’t possible. Other than pulling out these lanterns (since they are already made) from a couple years ago (and donating the extra winter clothes I’ve been sorting) I don’t have big plans for Martinmas this year. If it’s not raining we might light another fire outside before bedtime (we live out of town and have a fire pit) to use up some of the leftover marshmallows from our All Hallows’ Eve party.
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| Martinmas Bonfire 2014 |
Focusing on the sacraments and teaching our children to pray is the most important. Celebrating the feasts with food and crafts is fun (and something that I really enjoy), but it is not at all necessary for our salvation.
The year we made these lanterns and invited friends over to celebrate with us I was “trading” math tutoring for teaching my friend’s children about the saints… I was spending extra time on feast day celebrations that year, but I had extra help with math. I blogged a little about that here. (Of course knowing I had them coming encouraged me to do more than I probably would have done otherwise.)
There are certain feast days that we do try to celebrate every year (Michaelmas, St. Patrick’s Day, Santa Lucia Day, etc), espeically those of our children’s patron saints. Sometimes it is something very simple (at least it seems simple to me since I’ve been doing it for so many years – like baking a boxed cake mix in a heart shape pan for the feast of St. Catherine of Alexandria) and other times it will end up being much more elaborate (like for the canonization of St. Therese’s parents – something I was very excited to watch and celebrate and only happens once).
We started these little family traditions very small and one at a time. They have grown over the years along with our family. Incorporating the saints feast days into our family life/meals is something that now comes pretty naturally for me. Please don’t feel inadequate if it is something that you just can’t do with your own family. I really hope that my visitors here at Shower of Roses can look at my posts as just possibilities and ideas, and not feel like these are things you should be doing with your own families.
Hang in there and may God bless you and your family!
I love this, thank you for sharing it – if there's one thing I've learned over the last few years is that it's best to learn how you celebrate. For me I'm a book and decoration person more than anything. Crafts are reserved for particular things (making something to decorate our front window) and baking is something I enjoy doing, but really only for the big holidays – Easter, Christmas, etc. and that's okay. I love reading about your recipes and things, but I'm also glad to have found my balance.
2015-11-09 00:32:38
This is a beautiful post, Jessica, explaining things so well. Also, folks with just little children may not understand how once you start celebrating with family traditions they become important to your family culture, and as your children get older they happily and confidently take over much of the execution of the traditions themselves, whether it's baking or preparing crafts for the little ones or whatever. Thank you for all the beautiful inspiration you so generously share! God bless you all! (PS You might like to see what saints we dressed as for All Saints Day. 😉 )
2015-11-09 00:39:52
yeah I have often wondered that, but we all have our strengths and weaknesses. People will always find that the grass is always greener. Just human nature. I love your blog and find it a huge encouragement and a wonderful source for ideas. You are my all time favorite blog. I didn't even remember that Martinmas was coming up. SO now I can at minimum pull out old lanterns….or at best make new ones. God Bless you and your family!
2015-11-09 00:56:24
Your work is beautiful and a gift to the rest of us. I've learned through doing my own blogging how to "read" a blog better. There is so much not shown (just by necessity but also by the valid choice of the blogger). No one is without the normal trials and frustrations and work of life but not everyone can or should be sharing about that stuff. We each have our own gifts to give the Church and world and yours has been an inspiration and motivation to me in raising my children to love and appreciate the liturgical year. I'm so grateful for it!
2015-11-09 01:04:16
Thank you for writing this! I too have long wondered how you managed to do everything. I have read your blog for a couple of years and have found such a treasure of inspiration of things to do with our children to help them grow in faith. At the same time I would often feel a bit inadequate because it seemed I could not do nearly as well or as much with my 3 children as you do with your beautiful family! I've learned to give myself a bit of grace. I look forward to your blog posts so much, and often dive into your archives for ideas.
Bless you and your family! I hope your sweet girl's poison oak clears up soon, it's so miserable to have. You all are in my prayers.
2015-11-09 01:53:14
Such an important post and a good reminder that we should be prudent when deciding what feasts, crafts, and activities work best with our particular family's season of life right now. If the fun extras get in the way of the basic needs of our family, it can be helpful to remember that they are just that – extras. God bless your family 🙂
2015-11-09 01:54:46
Thank you Jessica for all that you do do! I started reading your blog before I even had children and was so inspired about you build your family culture around the Saints and their devotion to our Lord. Celebrating the Saints in our home looks different, especially now as my oldest is the same as your youngest (tangent – I can't believe they are going to be 4 in a few weeks, crazy, huh?), so we are just starting out, but I love that I have you to reference and I can pick and choose what might work for our family. Thank you again for all that you do and God Bless!
2015-11-09 01:56:30
I remember once long, long ago a similar question was asked (or perhaps it was a comment). Either way it was made in regards to several bloggers, yours and Charlotte's was included. It questioned the time put into the activities in homeschooling, the liturgical extras, the neatness of the home. What was being shared on the blogs made some mommies feel uncomfortable.
The answer is the same as it was then…all families have a gift that is theirs. Some mommies rock the baking, are super organized or can tell the best jokes. Seriously, having the gift of storytelling is awesome.
Regardless of what it is and how ever small/large, noticed or not it is a gift. We moms spend too much time comparing one another's gifts. Perhaps it's a negative of this social media world.
As a fellow mom who started small like Jessica suggested (inspired first by her, in fact, that living this way was possible) I encourage anonymous to do the same. Take what you can from the 100s of blogs out there and incorporate only what u can.
I was just feeling down about the lack of extras I've been able to do in the last 2 years!! So glad I read this tonight. At the moment my season involves being a teether for my 10th old. And that's alright with me.
God love you ladies. Hang in there ❤.
2015-11-09 02:03:53
Oohh the typos 😣! See. I lack the gift of spelling. LOL
2015-11-09 02:23:37
As a reader for several years now, I appreciate all the hard work and creativity you put into each of your celebrations. I am just grateful you share all the details which has given me so much inspiration over the years for how to celebrate feast days with my own family. As a cradle Catholic who really only went to Mass each week and prayed before family meals, living out the liturgical year was a new concept for me. In the same sense, you aren't necessarily (except sometimes) blogging about the day-to-day mundane tasks. "I had to drive back and forth into town five times today… My laundry pile is the size of Mt. Everest… I've had to remind my son three times today to unload the dishwasher…" While making your blog more "real," I view posts like these as something other than the mission behind your blog.
We all have things about our lives we like to share with others, and mostly they are the positive things. I appreciate all these "positives" you share on your blog because when you go back years later, those are the parts of your family life you will always cherish and remember, not only for your sake but for those of your readers, too! Yet as a reader, I need to understand that you're sharing these positives for two reasons – for you to be able to look back on, and to give other moms like me inspiration. And what an inspiration you are! Sometimes it's nice to know that "real" things happen in all of our lives. But the reason I keep coming back is to see what new books you're reading with your kids, the feasts and celebrations I might have missed this year but can introduce next year, and to give me hope that my kids can grow to love and cherish their faith the way yours have. So thank you, Jessica, for sharing your family with us. I know it is truly a labor of love. And while some days aren't always sunny, you are inspiring families all around the world.
2015-11-09 02:40:48
A couple years ago, when I had only toddlers and a baby, I thought the same things as I read all the highlights of the Catholic mommy worlds in blogs. I remember feeling overwhelmed when I would see a barrage of posts for feast days (some of which I had never HEARD of!) and wondering how I would ever build an authentic Catholic home in the midst of all the diaper changes, laundry, and cleaning. But after a year or two more I began to see that as with anything, I needed to learn to read blogs with an eye of prudence. Everybody is human, everybody has faults, and to read a blog and come away thinking that the author's life is picture-perfect is not responsible readership. I think it is part of our responsibility as consumers of social media to remember that not every blogger chooses to convey every hardship and day-to-day struggle she experiences. And that's okay. If a particular blog makes us feel inadequate, I think we have the duty to step back and remind ourselves that we don't know the whole story, that comparison is the thief of joy, and that we don't have to do ALL the things. We are all given different gifts and different family circumstances. Would I love to be able to make beautiful crafts like Jessica, and not ones that look like my kindergartner made them? Yup. But I will make myself miserable by constantly comparing myself and berating myself for not having that ability. So what helped me find the proper balance in blog reading was changing my internal dialogue, and giving myself (and others) a lot more grace. 🙂 Thank you, Jessica, for sharing all of your wonderful ideas and celebrations. It is so lovely to be inspired by such a devout and hard-working mother. May God bless you and your beautiful family!
2015-11-09 02:46:53
I am glad you share your traditions. I think you are a good role model and as a convert I have always enjoyed learning about the faith from your posts. I feel inspired when I read them, not bad about myself. May God Bless you Jessica for sharing your life with us!
2015-11-09 02:51:46
I love your blog and find it inspiring. It has helped to make the faith fun for my 4 young kids. Thanks for all you do!!
2015-11-09 02:59:05
I thank God for you, Jessica!
2015-11-09 03:19:37
I love your blog! It has been such a fabulous resource for me in my motherhood, especially our first official homeschooling year. I do what I can when I can, and I'm so grateful that so many mothers can share their unique ideas via blogs. Thank you for taking the time to type up and link to the resources!!
2015-11-09 03:20:55
I'm 61 and I love everything you post! Although my kids are all grown up…. there's always the hope of grandchildren someday and using these great ideas. Meanwhile… I do share a lot of what I see here with my Catechists since I am a DRE. You and your family bring a lot of joy myself and others. God Bless~
2015-11-09 04:04:39
Thank you Jessica for all your effort and hard work!!! I appreciate all you do !! God bless
2015-11-09 04:42:03
What a beautiful post I truly enjoyed reading it. Our children learn what they live and I was blessed to have wonderful parents who taught me my faith, unconditional love, respect, humility and the important things in life. God bless you and your loving family. 🙏
2015-11-09 05:17:19
Thank you for this post . . . and just at the right time. With the season of Advent approaching and all of the busyness that seems to come along with it, it's nice to know that outside of the blogging world, you are just like the rest of us, a mother who just wants to teach her children the way to Christ. I also felt a bit inadequate when feast days that I had planned to do something special for just came and went like the blink of an eye or special projects of the faith that never came to be. I have learned that I can only do the best that I can and am fortunate to get so many wonderful ideas from your blog. You have truly broadened my "Catholic" world and for that I am forever grateful. For anonymous, we're all in this together. God bless you all.
2015-11-09 05:43:23
I think too that very often, people are just overwhelmed with how to begin. Remembering that none of these activities must be done, I have a few idea's for those who would like to start incorporating various home celebrations of the liturgical year into their family culture.
One is get a folder and divide it into months or liturgical seasons. Every-time you find an activity you want to do photocopy it and put it in your folder. Sometimes I have prepared something and then run out of time to get it ready for the particular day. Don't worry. Store it and use it the next year, it will come around quick, I promise.
Boxes for the different liturgical seasons are great for organisation. I love opening our liturgical boxes at the beginning of a new season. There are all the treasures there that we have slowly built up over the years. You start with a few. You get a feeling for which ones work for your family. And then as you add them to your folder and box, there is more available for use each year.
Take photo's of what you do. Lot's of them. Put them in your folder. You'll find you forget what you did the year before pretty easily. You can build up to doing more if you can see what you did before. Otherwise you are sort of starting at the beginning each year. That's time consuming.
Write down the different feast and saints days that you want to remember for the year, on a year to a view calendar so you can see what's coming up. Write down what's important to you. Patron saints you have, confirmation anniversaries, baptism anniversaries etc. Don't add in too much. I remember trying to celebrate all my favorite saint's days in the beginning. That was too difficult for me. I cut it down to what I could manage. Sometimes I can add in more. Sometimes we miss days that we never usually miss. Sometimes I don't have the things I need in the cupboard when the day comes.
I use what I have and come up with my own feast day dishes/activities etc. And it can be really basic and not at all blog worthy. Children, for the most part don't even notice this. If you pull out a vanilla cake and say this is for the feast of … they'll not worry about whether it has this or that added to it. They'll be excited they're celebrating that saint. If nothing else mention the feast/saint of the day, read a short bio if you can. Say an appropriate prayer at your prayer-time, even just as much as, 'Saint … pray for us!'
As you do build up family favorites which you celebrate regularly you'll find your children remind you if it has become important to them. As they get older they may even do things for you. Some years you might have to explain that you just can't do what you usually do for that year. That's okay. One day your own children maybe in the same situation and they'll look back and remember that sometimes that's just how it goes.
As each month/season approaches I look at what I have done in the past and have a look around if I want to add something new if needed. We will try out that something new, try again at something I couldn't quite do the year before (the daily readings for advent come to mind as an annual 'try it again'), and we bring out the old favorites. But only if it's something I can see being useful for our family for that year.
I think the greatest thing we can pass on to our children is a love for God, His Church and His saints that comes from our own hearts. This we can all do, hard though it may seem at times…and maybe without ever doing a single craft 😉
God bless you and your family Jessica! I really appreciate your blog, it has been a great resource to me over the years!
God bless your readers too! Christ be with you all! 🙂
2015-11-09 09:00:33
I too have health issues, and sometimes celebrating feast days is, their morning juice served in fancy tea cups. We toast, we drink. Other times, we needed to move the feast day to another day. The kids don't know the difference, but they developed a relationship with the saint. God created us all different. If God made us different, then it only makes sense that we celebrate in different ways. Thank God for our individuality and our Oneness. One, Total, Catholic, Apostolic.
2015-11-09 13:14:13
Hi Jessica! I've followed your blog for many years and I've used tons of your ideas and FREE printables (thank you!!) to bless my big homeschooled family. All I can say to those who feel inadequate when reading your blog is: Comparison is the thief of joy! We all have different circumstances, seasons of life, etc, etc and to try to size ourselves up to others is always going to end negatively. Please know that your blog does NOT come across in anyway to encourage these feelings in others…you have been very transparent and "real" in all your posts. Thank you for blessing so many families with your creativity and generosity! Blessings to you and your beautiful family 🙂
2015-11-09 13:40:16
Dear Jessica,
You have a beautiful and holy ministry here – your blog. I
am sorry to hear about your stuggles, I am sending a little prayer for you and your family…
Your posts are +positive+, and I really appreciate that. How I read it: "No one, after lighting a lamp, puts it away in a cellar nor under a basket, but on the lampstand, so that those who enter may see the light."
God's grace, peace and love to you!
2015-11-09 15:39:27
Jessica, just don't lose sight that your first duty of state is to love your husband. All the feast day celebrations in the world do not give your children the protection that your loving marriage gives them AT THE SUPERNATURAL LEVEL. It can be so easy to believe that our worth is in being a super mom while our husbands are starving for our love, affection and attention. As long as you are doing BOTH then you are okay, but usually the husband is suffering and we are missing the whole point of doing God's will. "The greatest gift a mother can give her children is to love their father." It can cost greatly since it is easier for mothers to get lost in her children. Just ask MANY husbands! But our children will be strengthened BY GOD for the great battle of life because of our sacrifice. You are so beautiful and you have MUCH love to give. Achieving Union with God will come through Sean — he is Christ for you! And that union ACHIEVED is how the "waterfall of grace" flows to our children's souls. God bless you! Praying for you…
2015-11-09 18:25:37
Jessica, I love to see the richness of your family life on this blog! Of course we all do things different ways, but I love to see the way you connect Christ and the saints with joy for your children through these celebrations. I'm glad that you record your strengths and successes here! I also do think that if someone reads the blog often, they will some struggles, too, and I have never read anything from you that suggests a lack of humility. Keep up the good work! God bless!
2015-11-09 19:52:37
I always say, you can't compare your behind the scenes reel to another person's highlight reel, or you'll always feel like a failure. But if you took a few minutes each day to examine your conscience or reflect on your day, and then take away all the bad stuff, you will only be left with the highlights. And if you took a few minutes to polish up a nice little essay about those highlights and post them to a blog, you too, could appear to have it all together. Bc nobody is reading these things thinking about what else you did that day, we just think this is what you did today and how perfect it is!
Keep inspiring Jessica! We love you!
2015-11-09 23:16:34
I am grateful that you post your crafts every year.
There wasn't anything like this when I was growing up, and I had to look hard to find Catholic things to do with my older kids too! Moms need to find the feasts that have meaning for them and their families and celebrate those. You don't have to do every feast. You don't even have to celebrate your favorite feasts every year!
But aren't we lucking to have resources, like this blog, to help us find inspiration when we need it!
2015-11-09 23:56:26
Your crafts are amazing! Thanks so much for the inspiration
2015-11-10 00:57:38
I love your blog. As a convert, I had little idea how to live a Catholic life within my "domestic church." I had looked for books and articles but it wasn't until I found your blog that I found the inspiration and information that I needed. Keep up the great work!
2015-11-10 01:02:49
Everyone has different gifts and strengths. Thank you for sharing yours, Jessica!
2015-11-10 03:08:12
I want to thank you Jessica for everything that you do! I found your blog a couple of years ago. I was so glad I found it, little did I know that this was a start of a new way of life for me and my family! By seeing you live your faith in every way really inspired me so much. I wondered how all you homeschool mom's homeschooled. I don't know how it happened but this is my second year homeschooling and it has changed our lives so much! It is a gift to homeschool, even though it is hard but worth it! Thanks be to God that I found your blog! I found your blog because I was looking for Catholic crafts to do with the kids during summer and stumbled into your blog and was fascinated because this is what I always wanted to do but I didn't know It was possible. Thank you again! This is my favorite Blog! God Bless you and your family!
2015-11-10 23:35:37
Yes, this is how I do it too! I have files on my computer for each month, broken down into feast days. Then, as ideas, recipes, prayers, books, etc. come along, I save them. I save a lot of time not re-inventing the wheel each year. Then, each year I try to select feasts to celebrate with my family–sometimes it is once a week, sometimes it is once a month, and sometimes probably even less. We prioritize our family favorites and the rest is icing on the cake, so to speak.
2015-11-11 00:33:36
Jessica–I think your statement, "Focusing on the sacraments and teaching our children to pray is the most important. Celebrating the feasts with food and crafts is fun (and something that I really enjoy), but it is not at all necessary for our salvation. " Sums everything up. It shows where your priorities are and gently guides you readers to the same point.
As an aside, I want to thank you so very much for your inspiration. Since beginning to read your blog years ago (I think around 2008 or so?) , we have had the joy and privilege of incorporating our favorites from your blog:
1) O Antiphons (Ashamed to admit we'd never heard of them before, despite our loyalty to the hymn).
2) Saint Lucy
3) Saint Francis
4) Blessed Kateri Tekawitha
5) Blessed Imelda
6) Wrapping books for Advent
7) New ways for celebrating the feast of Saint Nicholas.
8) Catholic version of the Jesse Tree
9) Lenten calendar (and all your ideas for preschoolers, although my son is now too old for those!)
Blessings!
2015-11-11 00:59:08
I think, first, I have deleted blogs off my reader that inspired discontent in me. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the blog. Some of them were very popular blogs, so clearly they do something for many people. They just didn't do it for me. 🙂 But your blog I have read forever! And I also stand in awe of all you get done. Clearly you are much better organized and just manage to get more into a day than I might, but that's ok. 🙂 I have gotten so much from what you share and have stolen a lot of your ideas! I am also an old mom. My oldest child is 19 now. And I just feel much less threatened by other parents than I did in my younger days. I have learned that everyone has their areas they struggle and fall short in, and because I have a (very neglected) blog of my own, I know very well that a blog post is just a snapshot…that's all. You cannot make great general comparisons between your own life and a blog that you read. There are too many variables. Some that come to mind….ages of children (like, presence of nursing babies/toddlers, whether you have helpful older kids, etc.), outside help, presence of learning or health issues, husband stuff (how much help he is able to be, what kind of hours he works, etc.), outside activity commitment, outside stressors and commitments like helping aging parents, personal energy level and personality, different priorities for yourself/your husband/your children. I'm sure others can add more. Also…as someone who has been doing liturgical stuff for a while, I can say that it is not as intimidating as it used to be. Such things become part of your family culture and easier to pull off each year. Just yesterday I realized it was Martinmass,,,I sent the kids outside to gather some leaves, pulled out a couple of mason jars for them to glue leaves onto (largely on their own, because we have done this the last two years), and viola, lanterns for Martinmass. And as you pointed out, there have been seasons were we have done alll the things, and seasons where we have done very little…most of course are somewhere in between. 🙂 So…that's my two cents. If someone feels that way about your blog, that is their insecurity, and while I totally understand it, it is still theirs to deal with. Love ya girl, don't change a thing! 🙂
2015-11-12 14:57:13
I once asked my Grandma this very same question after I had my first-she had nine! She said, "Well I didn't have them all at once!" What she meant was, she did what she could when she could as her family evolved, some years were easy some weren't but we just tend to look back and think of it all one big lump sum. Now with six of my own I get it.
2015-11-13 20:25:53
As a long time reader of your blog I know You and your family have gone through difficulties all families face. I have received so many wonderful ideas from visiting your blog. I have absolutely no creativity,no ability to think outside the box…etc. Your blog has helped with craft ideas,books,special food,gift suggestions…..just wonderful things from one mother to another. I don't do everything but I just love visiting a blog I trust and know I will see goodness,truth and beauty. I very rarely visit any other religious blog. This past year I started working full time and homeschooling seven children ( my oldest is in college now) I have no time….but when I have a moment I try to look in on Shower of Roses…..always a joy .
2015-11-13 21:59:44
Thank you for all you do, Jessica!
2015-11-14 23:03:49
That's the key, Sarah- one step at a time. I truly enjoy Jessica's blog although I am not a Catholic. The thing I enjoy is that she enjoys her family and that each child is different from the others, but all are loved. I find joy in seeing aspects of life and faith celebrated. However, I feel for those who are overwhelmed and I wonder whether the person who wrote the original comment may be feeling that way because something is troubling her deeply. I pray that God would give her peace. I remember the parable of the widow' mite and I think it applies to all our lives. You do what you can do where you are and with what you have, and as long as it is joyfully done, then that's all that counts. Bless you Sarah, Jessica, and the person who wrote the original response.
2015-11-15 04:35:13
Dear Jessica, thank you for answering this question. I love your blog, your creativity and all the effort you all put in together to be a happy family. And yes, I admit I feel better to know that sometimes even in your house the laundry is piling up. I guess that´s is something I have to bring to confession 😉
I liked your answer today, but what really helps when I feel a bit down after reading about all your activities is when I read about your schedules you have and how you practically manage all the stuff you do, from time to time you posted about this. To see that you plan all your activities and have a time schedule, checklist and calendars is like looking behind the curtains at a concert – what looks so easy and so effortless and yet perfect to the audience, is discipline, work, determination all carried with team spirit and a higher purpose. That what really inspires me.
You come from a big family, so perhaps for you that is normal, but for me that is something I still have to learn – from role models like you – and by incorporating it into my daily life. Thank you for all you do!
2015-11-09 10:43:30